She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
