Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
