I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
