ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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