New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
