Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize