shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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