There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's a naked man in my car right now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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