Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
