somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
