You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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