dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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