just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
