I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
