i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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