Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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