If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
