At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
