when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Boobs are out for the taking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
