You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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