he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
