Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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