I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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