but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
