I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
