Please, let me fuck your mom
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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