my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
organizing the empties. That sober.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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