You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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