Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
