Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
