Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
