You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
