Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
