Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
