I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
