are you still at the devil's house?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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