Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have tasted many bathrooms
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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