the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
