After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
