90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
