Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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