How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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