Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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