Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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