belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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