We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
