k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ugly people sure do ruin things
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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