I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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