So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
