i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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